This is going to be a little hard.
Last night I attended a wake for Lake, a friend of Daniél’s, who had passed away recently after a long struggle with cancer. I knew her only slightly but learned much more about her over the course of the stories & ceremony. It was a deeply moving event and there seemed to be a real catharsis over the course of the night that allowed for a true and graceful acceptance of the natural process of death.
Later, at home, Dani & I spoke about death & dying and compared our own experiences of losing people close to us (we both had tragic losses in our teenage years). It seemed apparent that, toward the end of her life, there was an acceptance and resignation that death was inevitable that allowed Lake and her loved ones to prepare consciously for her passing. It seemed apparent to me that this could be the most therapeutic way for loved ones to prepare – to know and begin to slowly become prepared for their inevitable disappearance. For death, otherwise, confronts the human ego with a fact that it forever seems to be trying to avoid – that this life is temporary and just as the miracle of birth is one aspect of life, so to is death just as mysterious and omnipresent.
I wish I could end this post here, with a seemingly significant statement that we can hold in our mind without having to be faced with these facts any more intimately. Unfortunately, it is not so. This morning I got a call from David telling me that my friend and colleague, Cole Gittinger (aka ‘boom guy x’) was killed in a tragic car accident last night. As you would expect I am in shock and as I’m sure many of his friends are, totally devastated but his sudden passing.
I had spent a lot of time with Cole over the past several weeks, both on set and off. After work I’d frequently join him in his hotel room (which he’d decked out with Turkish rugs he had recently begun collecting). He was full of life and a ‘free spirit’ if ever there was one. With the money he made booming he traveled the world and was planning a trip to (and across, via horse) Mongolia after this picture. He shared his knowledge and experience working in the industry with me openly and I learned a lot (mostly off the set). When, after work, I would be complaining about something David had hassled me about, Cole would tell me stories about David falling into a river while booming or falling off an apple box during a shot. Jokingly, in reference to his lifestyle, he had said he probably had less than 5 years left. Strange how things like that come up.
While we were down shooting in Carizozo, he had taken David and I to Lincoln, the site of the Lincoln County War. Apparently, Cole had done some studying of Billy the Kid and knew quite a bit about the war. He’d even begun to think of moving to Lincoln, if just for a summer.
How strange it seems now, the wake, the conversation with Daniél last night and now this tragic loss.
Entries (RSS)
I put in a search for my uncle and this is the first thing that popped up. I just learned of his death not even minutes ago. He was such a great guy and free spirit. Although we didnt see him that often because he always said coming back to Toledo was bad luck which he was right everytime he came here something bad would happen to him. I saw him last year right before I moved back home to Toledo from Colorado Springs which he helped me out on. I am going to miss him so much as will the rest of my family. I loved hearing his awesome stories of the people he met and where he had been. He was such a great guy.
thank you so very much for this post. as i am sure you know, we are in total shock ourselves. it makes me so happy to read about how wonderful my brother is/was. i know more than anyone what an awesome person he is/was and right now i can’t even begin to describe how i feel. i can only hope that all of you carry on his zest and spirit for life, would also love to hear from any of you about the wonderful times you have shared with him too. my email is idasilliest@yahoo.com, please feel free to drop a line…………always and forever “the fireballer”…….his sister that he always made sure was taken care of………….jodi
I can’t believe it. My “little” brother is gone. I am trying to look at this as another one of his spontaneous trips to a place only he knew where he would end up, in fact, I know he has, only this trip he is not coming home. I keep telling myself he is with mom & I know how much he missed her. Everyone knows how much he hated Toledo, but even though he had made a home for himself in Taos, Toledo is where OUR home was, even if he wouldn’t admit it. Our phone conversations always started with, “hey, little brother” & he would say “hey, what’s happen Dawnie?” And I am so glad ALL of our conversations ended with “I love you”, “I love you too.” I ran into one of our high school teachers, Mr. Howard, just 2 days ago & the first thing he asked me was, “what has that brother of yours, Cole, been up to?” I was so proud to brag about the Oscar nomination & name some of the movies he had worked on and the places he had been to. And just this afternoon, how ironic, I was talking w/Jacob (his 16yr old nephew) & his friend Travis about the “Cole Gittinger Law” Mr. Howard named after him. It means you get all A’s so you are eligible to play football, then when the season ends, your grades go down the toilet! God, was he smart. Your nephews, Tony, Joshua & Jacob thought Uncle Cole was so cool & loved it when you came home to visit. We are going to miss you little brother, more than I can even begin to say.
Like when any tragedy happens, we all remeber where we were at when we get bad news. I’ll never forget standing in the kitchen when big sister Amy got the call.
There is so much I can say about Cole from the time I first met him in late 1984. The car issues, electronics stuff, the car issues, the car issues, did I mention car issues? How ironic that a car was involved in his sudden, tragic ending at way too young of an age. Cole always said he would play for his 1st 20 years, work for the next 20 years and play for the “last” 20 years. I told him that 60 was way too young to think you’ll only live to. Sadly, He barely made it to the end of the second 20 years. Alas, he was still working. Thankfully, he never really stopped playing when he found the time. Thanks for taking your Niece Megan and Nephew Dan to that Mud Hens Game and showing them your new Audi. They won’t forget that and Amy & I will never forget you.
Pretty cool that you were able to meet up with your big sister in the Big Apple in 2007 as well.
Watch over us Cole because now you’re back with Marge; She needs a break from watching over all of us for so long.
All of our love,
Amy, Bruce, Dan & Meg
Cole Gittinger touched many lives in a uniquely positive way. I first met Cole about nine years ago. He and Sara helped my wife Stacia gain confidence again in her art with a fantastic showing at a gallery they were running. He was such a great guy and we became friends right away. He helped me build my daughter’s bedroom and proved to be a much better carpenter than me. I learned many things from him as we swung hammers together. Talking the philosophies of life was always fun and interesting with Cole. My favorite story is when Cole came to work on a film set for the first time. We needed an additional PA on the film “Off the Map” and he had been really wanting to check out film making. He was especially interested in sound. The company was filming a scene inside the main house. Cole’s job was to stand outside and YELL “Rolling and Cut” as we rolled camera. Cole was such a nice guy that he didn’t feel comfortable yelling. He would whisper it, “rolling.” There would be a noise and the take was no good. I went to Cole and told him he was hired to yell out rolling and cut. I stood next to him and as we rolled camera I yelled out “ROLLING!” we cut I yelled “CUT!” He looked at me kind of uncomfortable. I told him he had to do this if he wanted to stay. He became the best person at his job I ever met. It turns out he was a natural at it. He bloomed into a highly respected professional. I will miss my friend’s presence both on set and at home. I feel for Ally who lost her partner.
Many people want to know about a service for Cole. Saturday seems like a good day as crew from the film he was working on will have an opportunity to attend. I can be reached at 575-770-6697 or DCrow66@aol.com
Thank you for this post.I greatly Appreciate it. I was just told only an hour ago. I miss my brother already
I can’t believe that I am writing this message. You all have my deepest sympathy for your loss. It seems like only yesterday we were all sitting in Marge’s kitchen playing Trivial Pursuit and laughing at how mad Cole would get if he lost. We all knew, even then, that Cole would succeed at whatever he did. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.
Love-
Rhonda
As much as I regret saying I didnt get to see my uncle as much as I, or the rest of my family, would have like to; I love it at the same time. I always understand his quest for life and I understood the many things he wanted to do with his life. He never said he was going to do something without doing it. Many people “say” want they want to do and wish about things they could do, but he always did it. He was the coolest thing. My mom would always tell me what was new with him and I would just laugh, it was so just like him. Living in a tee-pee? That one really threw me. Talk about a dork… I often would see movies he participated in just to see the credits at the end. I know he loved each and every one of us even if we didnt talk to him all the time. He wasnt very good at showing us how much he cared and thats okay because thats how I am too. It was of those things you just know. All of us nieces and nephews are saddened that we cannot attend the service in New Mexico for him and we are patiently waiting for our service here. I love hearing about him and his many stories and would love to hear more from the people who knew him best. I wish we could have had more time to see what he would have done next. I can just remember him on our answering machine all he would say is “OL FIREBALLER!!!!” and hang up. We always knew who that was. He gave my mom that name and boy did/does it fit her. Life is just to short. All that is left is the four sisters and us kids. I hope this will bring us all together again like we used to be. afterall, we are all eachother has and we have alot of lost time. I love you, uncle Cole and I appreciate your free spirit, I look up to it. I know you touched many people in more ways than one and we will never forget you or stop sharing our memories of you. Welcome home.
Love your niece Katie
About seven years ago Cole and I had a long long overdue phone conversation. During the conversation he told me Thank you. It is now my turn to say Thank You. Without you I would not have my (our) Nathan. He is one of the best things that ever has happened to me. He makes me laugh as you did and now that i’ve been reading more about you I understand why he is who he is. He is alot like what everyone has written you were. I’ve thought about you often and always will..Thank you Cole for our Nathan…Dori
I haven’t seen Dawn or Cole in years, but I do remember the times we got to spend together at the rodeos at kids…..so much fun! Cole was such a great kid to hang with and have fun with!! I am so sorry for your loss…
Shannon Zinser
shannonstarr@mac.com
What a sad and tragic loss. It has been a long time since I have seen Cole, but I have a lot of memories of him and my brother, Joe playing together as kids. He was a great friend and one of the smartest kids we knew! He could answer just about any Trivial Pursuit question before you even finished it! My deepest sympathy goes out to his whole family. God bless you all!
Kelli
I am so sorry to hear about Cole. What a remarkable life he established. He was a great guy and is at peace with Marge. I wish that there were words that would make this better for all of you, but there aren’t any. God must have had big plans for him, to be taking him earlier than anyone could have expected. I will always remember Cole acting like a tuff guy, when deep down it sounds like he was always there for anyone who needed him. I wanted to let you know you all are in my thoughts and prayers
Love
Beth
I’ve posted a few photos of Cole at the following site: http://s456.photobucket.com/albums/qq290/mrbally/Cole%20A%20Gittinger/
I’ve known Cole since Dawn & I became friends in 2nd grade, so where do I start? Maybe when he drove John Wahl’s go kart in to a tree & lost his 2 front teeth (for years!), or when Cole & Cody Zinser tied a rope to each of their ankles & would run as hard as they could in oppisite directions, just for everyone elses entertainment, or when he would take the keys out of the ignition of the ole Dodge Dart, while Marge was driving down the road, which always resulted in Marge yelling “Cole Allen, give me those GD keys!” or when he would cover Marges eyes at a red light & wait for it to turn green, wait a minute, then say “If it rains it ain’t gonna get any greener” then giggle, so proud of himself. When he borrowed my Dad’s stud finder to hang his speed bag, and put it on his chest and went “beep, beep, beep”, again so proud of his own humor. Those are some of the fun things I like to remember about Cole. I haven’t seen Cole in years, but will miss him just the same.
Always a friend,
Kandi
Here are some pictures of Cole that i have
http://s247.photobucket.com/albums/gg147/BUDDARUBBER/cole%20gittinger/
I knew Cole all my life. He was my best friend and brother. I remember camping out in our backyards. We used to spend hours running through the cornfields, playing football in the side yard, baseball behind the white school building and basketball behind the church. One year for Christmas Cole, Jim and I all got Dallas Cowboy football helmets needless to say we were out playing football that day. I remember Marge taking Cole and I to Football Hall of Fame in Canton. The last time Cole was in town, we went and played golf what a damn good time we had. I know one thing for sure when it came to Cole and that was his love for his SISTERS! Whenever we talked he would fill me in about what they were up to.
Cole’s visits were always too short and we had tons of plans for the next time he was stopping by. During the blizzard the snow plows would push the snow from the church parking lot and we would dig tunnels and hang out–what a blast we had! I could go on forever about great times with Cole. I will always miss you and I love you bro. Jodi, Amy, Leeann, and Dawn– I love you all like sisters and want to stay in touch. Also I want you to know if there is ANYTHING I can do please let me know. I’m sorry for your loss.
Love ya,
Eric
I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a brother is a very painful experience. You always want them around for the support we need. Amy, I am here for you.. May God bless and keep you close to his heart. Love, Lori
I am so shocked to hear this. I called Dennis. Life is so precious. But Cole and I just worked together. How could this be?
Dennis and I agreed that he will be missed on set and today doesn’t belong to our Cole. Of all his travels and his free spirit and wealth of knowledge… Cole just took his greatest journey.
thank you so much for the pictures~~ I haven’t seen Cole in years and it is great to have the pictures! Such a tragic loss….
I just got home after a long emotionally draining yet somehow inspiring celebration of Cole’s life. It was a beautiful memorial and I want to thank everyone who spoke for their incredibly beautiful words. I hadn’t seen Cole in quite some time but somehow everything said about him made me remember him vividly. His family will be in my thoughts.
Today is the 10th day that my baby brother has been gone. While I know he has left this earth and gone on to a much bigger adventure and a much better place, it still hurts beyond any words. To know that I can’t pick up the phone and hear his voice or receive emails from him as he traveled the world, it has left a hole the size of the Taos gorge in my very being. These days have been extremely difficult for our family. Cole would always tell me to “look after the sisters”, and I promised him every time that I would. Cole had begged me for years to get to Taos. I always told him, “Someday, Cole, I promise I will get there”. Well, I got there….little did I know that I would do it without Cole being there. Taos, NM is everything that Cole said it was. I cannot begin to tell you how overwhelming it was to meet all of Cole’s friends, or more appropriately named, family from Taos. I believe that Dennis and Andy were handpicked by Cole to take care of the sisters. Cole knew that we would be a mess (and we definately are), but I believe he also knew that by sending Andy and Dennis to us, we all would be able to cope with this tragedy together. With the stories and words that were spoken by all of those at the memorial service in Taos, we found out just how big of an impact Cole had on everyone he came in to contact with. He was, without a doubt, a “free spirit”. He knew exactly how he wanted to live his life and he knew it would be on his own terms. He often told me, “play the first 20 years, work the next 20 years and play the last 20 years”. When he first came up with this “philosophy”, I told him it was a great idea, but was it logical? How remarkable that he lived is life exactly as he wanted. He was true to himself in everyway. We knew Cole was always the one who would change the world. I completely believe that in his 38 years, Cole knew his destiny was his own. As a kid, his autograph that he practiced was “Cole Gittinger The Great!” or “Old King Cole”. He knew then what we all know now. I want to thank everyone in Taos, NM and the film industry for their outpouring of love and support for our family. I also want to thank everyone who posted to this blog and provided pictures at photobucket.com. The thoughtful words of everyone has provided tremendous support to all. While I could keep typing stuff up here for days on end, I know Cole would want us all to move on and live life to the absolute fullest. So, little brother, I will try my best to do just that. While I will miss you deeply everyday, I know that you are watching over us all.
I received some pictures from a few different folks after the ceremony for Cole. One of them came with this message from John Pritchett:
Dear friends of Cole
It was with great regret that I was unable to attend Cole’s memorial. And also, with regrets that I was unable to send a picture of Cole that I had taken on Appaloosa which I hoped you all would appreciate and know how much I admired the lad. So, I’m sending that picture now to all of you. Cole will be greatly missed by all of us who knew him and by an industry that needed him. Bless him and bless all of you for loving him.
warmly,
John Pritchett
I put together an album of the photos I have collected of Cole (from his movie life) and posted it here:
http://gallery.me.com/brettbecker/100087
Anyone should be able to download full resolution versions of any or all of the pix.
Also, you can upload your own photos as well.
Finally, I am putting a link to the Cole’s pictures on the main page of my blog:
lossycodec.com/blog
I just heard yesterday of Cole’s passing and my heart aches. Cole and I met in Taos while working on a documentary. As I came to know him better and learned of his film success I was impressed by what a humble person he was. He always fought for justice and looked out for the underdog. His talents ranged from building “green” dog houses (for Frank, of course) to cooking authentic Morroccan food. Cole and I eventually were neighbors in Taos and he’d remind me that he was available at any time if I ever needed help with something–and he meant it.
I find comfort in reading the posts from family and friends. He talked so highly of everyone and knew these people made him a very rich man.
I am deeply saddened that I could not attend his memorial. He has always held a place in my heart and that mischevious smile will be greatly missed.
With love,
Amber
Alas, I barely knew Cole.., that is in length of time, having only met him on the set of The Book of Eli.., but everyday as he found his safe zones with his boom, I would mutter under my breathe something that only he could hear, being silly, sometimes, but always with affection for he always made me feel ‘welcomed’ from the first day I worked with him. We had many moments of just sharing those little small conversations that you have when you plan to build upon them, the next time…, and the next. In our last conversation, that fateful Thursday before his accident, he shared a very funny story about our lead actor ‘not liking’ boom operators and in particular, him. I laughed with him and said that it was just the opposite.., that when we do our best job, we’re often invisible and that’s why we’re allowed to be ‘that near’ talent of that caliber. I knew instinctly, as in my own position, that our lead actor has excellent instincts about people and only those he ‘trusts’ get to be that in intimate space with him when he’s creating. Cole was not only a welcomed presence.., but he was ‘invisible’ enough to be one of the few that truly get be in that sacred space. I MISS HIM, DAILY and he will forever be one of the most present men I’ve ever known, so much so, I still feel him on set, during every mic check.
Goodness doesn’t leave us.., it transforms into something that lingers and blesses us, if we only stay open to it’s continual presence. Cole is doing what he does best.., LISTENING, without judgment.
Mutter something under your breathe that only he can hear.
EDENintheDESERT
Albuquerque, NM