this lossy codec

Visiting UFO museum in roswell NM. Apparently a lot of folks take this stuff pretty seriously. 200k a year visit the museum.

On the way back from Denver last night we stopped at a rest stop that had this sign and accompanying button requesting input(?). Kind of an odd use of the first person plural tense.

Ever look around and start to notice themes popping up at certain points in your life? I do. I suspect it is a common enough phenomenon. Still, what people do, or how they react or listen to the world around them is an uncertain maneuver. Indeed, most people think that DOing something means being ACTIVE and moving foreward with little or no attention paid to the world around. There is an alternative view that has at its basis the idea that the ‘SELF’ is not merely limited to the physical body but that it merges into the environment in a way so subtle so as to actually be a continuity. “Huh?” you ask?

Here is a link to a fractal video created by my friend Jonathan Wolfe. It starts with the primordial Mandelbrot Set. Pay close attention to where the video continues to zoom. It is a choice made by the creator (in this case, Jonathan). It just so happens that the almost(?) infinite zoom is most heightened at the edges. Isn’t it interesting that no matter how much we zoom, the “edge” is never found?

Now, as I understand it, fractals are a graphical representation of a mathmatical proccess of recursive feedback (ie. feeding the solution of a quadratic equation back into the the formual over and over). Now this process of feedback has a great deal to do with Cybernetics. Cybernetics comes from the Greek kybernetes which means steersman. The idea is that the steersman is a part of a feedback loop between the rudder, the current and the allignment with where he’s going. He is constantly making adjustments and counter-adjustments to keep on his course. (Interestingly, our word government comes from the same root).

So this cybernetics stuff gets pretty heady. The basic idea is that the steersman is a part of a process. If he stops paying attention, he’ll go off course. Now, an old timer who’d been piloting for 20 years probably it becomes second nature. Like us driving a car. We don’t actually think about what we are doing (we’re too busy on the phone), but still, somehow we don’t ram that guy in front of us or run over any pedestrians (generally).

So what if our bodies were like this; vehicles we had long ago learned to pilot and gotten so good at we just unconsciously internalized the process. But where are we going? Did the Captain give us directions? Have we checked the current?

So. Environment+Self=Consciousness.

Of course, this can be sketchy territory. There is a fine line between seeing ‘signs’ and hearing ‘voices’. A maximum of discretion is advised. Still, it is easy for me to imagine the ancients interacting with the world around them in this way. Magic? The Tao? I know not…

I actually was planning on writing about the themes that have popped up lately for me. I’ll leave you with this for today and hope that those who’ve read it have found it stimulating at least in some sense.

If not, check this out and at least you’ll have something to thank me for.

watching dateline nbc top 10 close encounters

…when you aren’t in excruciating pain!! That’s right folks, it has been a whole 4 days since my last attack (that is my current record btw – which makes me a little nervous about tomorrow). On Mother’s Day it hit moments after waking but somehow I was able to make it subside within a few hours. I’m not certain but some combination of the following did the trick:

1. 1000mg Aspirin
2. starbuck doubleshot
3. 1-2 mile hike w/ dogs
4. orange juice
5. bagle w/ cream cheese

And that was it. Somehow, it just faded away. The rest of the day I was fine, nay, BLISSFUL.

Interestingly, they do seem to strike earlier in the week, usually Sundays-Tuesdays. It is weird, wacky stuff.

no elaphents here though

running sound for jami sieber. She plays electric cello with elaphents (they play music too!)

Well, I thought it worked. Apparently though, whatever it is in my noggin that is misfiring has yet to be fixed. Yesterday I woke up and had a real doozy. omagod that was painful. I am amazed to read that some people can live with this for years. Today I am fine anyway. Ahhh, the lack of excruciating pain, how sweet it is.

4.27.8

Today i woke up with a mild headache. Although I don’t generally get headaches, over the past week or so I’d been taking aspirin nearly every day to fend them off. I was traveling back home, and with the humidity and altitude shift (as well as increases in sugar and coffee ingestion), frankly I wasn’t surprised. Then, the night I returned (4.25.8) I had a headache the intensity of which was totally debilitating and required taking a narcotic painkiller. Finally I went to sleep.

So, the headache I woke up with quickly gained intensity. Within 20 minutes it had become so excruciating to bring me to tears. I took another painkiller. And another. And then one more. Still, it hung on as I tried to drift off into sleep in hopes of resetting my brain. This ‘sleep-reset’ was a technique I had used when, several years ago, I had had another bout of these headaches. It lasted a few weeks and then went away. The cessation of the headaches coincided with a spiritual and physical cleansing and healing ceremony in Peru (as well as me quitting my job as a fry cook in a sushi restaurant (oddly enough).

A few hours later Daniél arrived home (with dogs!) and I had been able to drift off enough to feel better. At this point she brought up something called ‘cluster headaches’ which had apparently popped into her head the other night when I was reeling in pain.

I did a little googling and as usual, wikipedia came through (Wikipedia entry on Cluster headaches). That was in fact extremely interesting and revealing. Apparently, by ‘cluster’ is meant that the headaches come in clusters of time and are often separated by weeks, months or even years. When they do recur they will come on quickly (often in 15 minutes or less). When in the midst of a ‘cycle’ the slightest bit of alcohol can trigger a fit (i had a margarita the night i returned home).

Because of their intensity they are also known colloquially as “suicide headaches” because so strong is the pain that people can be driven to kill themselves for hope of relief (yes, I think I can relate). In fact, women who are plagued with this syndrome say it is worse than the pain of childbirth (!!!). Another reference said it was worse than having a limb amputated without anaesthesia (!!!!!!!). As for my own experiences, I shall simply say that although I have neither experienced childbirth nor unanaesthesiatized amputation, the pain is in fact so excruciating that the contemplation of self-immolation seems to offer some solace. Let me add that it does offer some vindication to read this…

Also, they are occasionally referred to as “alarm clock headaches” because of the regularity of occurrence, often happening at the same time of day, day of week or time of year. Most interestingly, this has lead to speculation of the involvement of the brain’s biological clock, more specifically, an abnormality in the hypothalamus. How interesting it is indeed to becomes aware of the misfirings of ones brain. So often are we tempted to gaze through the glass window of our mental abstraction of the world that we are tempted to believe our perceptions are in fact “the world.”

The article on wikipedia is wrapped up by alluding to various possibilities of treatment, all fairly anecdotal. Of the treatments listed, I found most interesting the rapid inhalation of pure oxygen and vigorous exercise (both at the first onset of symptoms). Also, “some people report that sexual intercourse and specifically orgasm may terminate an attack possibly by acutely modulating hypothalamic function.” Furthermore, and most significant of all to this patient, is “substantial anecdotal evidence” that serotonergic psychedelics like psilocybin and LSD can abort cluster periods and extend remission periods. Apparently, these substances work by “resetting the hypothalamus” back to normal functioning. I’ll leave it there for the interested reader to seek out further reading on that subject (here).

Needless to say, this came as very “hopeful” news to me, to say the least. My last “remission” had, in fact, coincided with a trip to Peru where I went on a 10 day dieta that involved imbibing in the sacred (and psychedelic) ayahuasca. Furthermore, I happened to have a slight amount of such-and-such-hypothalamic-resetting substance lying around so to I assumed this was a medical emergency and ingested it. It is now two days later and I’ve had no resurgence since.

geeking out on easter. funny, only people at the cafe today w/ computers are mac users. does this mean we are all atheists?

I used to have a joke with a friend of mine about the ‘Outernet’ was going to be the next big thing. We would tell people about and describe it as an awesomely emmersive 3D environment. Maybe you had to be there…

More recently it occurred to me that the intersection of internet and outernet are fairly well woven in my current lifestyle situation. For me to get online requires much more than what most modern households require (a modem, a computer etc). You see, the cybernetic circuit requirs running a gas powered engine for about 30 minutes or so as well as processing a caffeine / carbohydrate mix through a biological organism (namely me). While on the surface this might seem inefficient or wasteful I have come to understand it as a more evolved means of information processing. Rather than merely pushing electrons around and wiggling my fingertips, my whole body is involved as well as loud, noxious machines that more assertively inform the environment HEY! I’M GETTING ON THE INTERNET!!!

The full implications of this have yet to be understood. What a paradox though, to drive 30 or 40 miles through real spacetime to get to a place to jack in to a realm of pure information.

so much as a continuation of a state of being that has not a beginning or and end. still, a change of form (and forum) that is often enough referred to as a ‘beginning’.

for now this will be enough to test.

Watching a movie.
Deeksha, a Oneness Blessing.
A healing, passed on.

G.R.E. Practice. I find out I’m not that smart. Brain needs excercise.

job interview, ugh. Sipping machiato mmm. Engage thrusters Now!

twittering on my iphone